Powerlessness teaches us to let go, to accept that we cannot change the past, control the future, control other people, or even control everything about ourselves. We learn to conquer regrets, fears, and anxieties. We learn to accept imperfection.
We are powerless to change the past. We can ruminate about it all we like, but we cannot change the past. We can learn from the past, we can sometimes make amends for the past, but we cannot change it. We should non-judgmentally look back at the past, be kind to ourselves, learn lessons, and then put the past behind us. This approach will help us grow towards the best version of ourselves that we can be, without causing more suffering to ourselves, which in turn, will cause more suffering to others. We give both ourselves and the world a gift when we accept the past as it was.
We are powerless to control the future. The whole universe plays a role in how the future will play out, so we should not go chasing an expectation we can control the future. We must accept the uncertainty of the future. We must embrace that in the future lies the potential of all the things we want to see come to pass, and we must jump in to the future with energy and excitement. However, we cannot control the future, and we must learn to flow with whatever comes. We can plan for the future, we can take decisive action to shape the future, but we cannot control outcomes. Accept uncertainty and the future will cause you less suffering. Try to hear what the universe is saying to you in every future expectation that is not met.
We are powerless to control others, and we must develop an intention that others are powerless to control us. Others have their own drivers, their own values, their own life experiences, and their own levels of consciousness / awareness. We must meet people "where they are", accepting them, loving them, and forgiving them, without believing we can control them. Our lives become unmanageable when we believe we can control others. We also must not adopt cognitive behaviors that result in others controlling us. Our feelings, emotions, and reflections should emerge from our own experience of life, our own intentions, and our own thoughts, rather than letting the actions and words of others resulting in how we feel inside. So often we let this happen by misunderstanding, mind reading, future telling, and other cognitive errors. We must hear people, deeply listen, be empathetic, and seek understanding, while maintaining our own sense of self, and our own emotional regulation, based on our reality. We should not compare ourselves to others, or make assumptions about the lives of others, that we do not know to be facts. We are powerless to control others, and we should not give others the power to control us.
We do not control everything about ourselves. Our thoughts and cravings are the result of conscious thinking, physiological processes, environmental input,and other factors. Thoughts are not facts, thoughts are impermanent, thoughts come and go, thoughts are responses to many stimuli, some understood, and others not. We cannot control all the thoughts we have, we should not shame ourselves for our thoughts, quite the opposite, being kind to ourselves results in the brain resourcing our growth, and we must accept that sometimes we will have unwelcome thoughts – that is just life.
When we accept our powerless to control the past, healing can begin. When we accept we are powerless to control the future, others, and ourselves, suffering is reduced. Acceptance of our powerlessness is an important part of recovery. Like all dialectic challenges, we accept the way the world is, while using cognitive therapies to improve the nature of our thinking and change, but with an understanding that perfection is not the goal, progress is. We are not our thoughts, we are the non-judgmental observer of our thoughts, learning where we can, putting aside where we cannot.
Accepting our powerlessness is an important step in recovery.
Today, I will accept, my powerlessness to change the past, control the future, control others, or even control everything about myself. Today, I will not allow, the thoughts, feelings, or actions of others, to effect my inner peace. Today, I will nurture and heal myself first, so I can then nurture and heal the entire universe.